Reasons to Love Your Mom

A listener emailed these to me... Thanks. Very Funny.

REASONS I LOVED MY MOTHER

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.